Feeling disempowered? Make a decision!
10 ways to make a decision, feel at ease with your decision, and
stay committed to your decision.
I have never been good at making decisions. Let me be completely honest, at times, making decisions has given me major anxiety and set me into many panic attacks. Consumed with so many choices and points of view, it can be difficult to make a definitive decision about anything these days! But what I have learned in the past few years is that decision making can be EMPOWERING. Want to make decisions easier? Then check out this guide of 10 ways to make a decision, feel at ease with your decision, and stay committed to your decision.
Now as I said, I wasn’t always good at making decisions, in fact, I would go as far as saying that I was potentially the worst decision maker. I’m not even talking major life changing decisions, I’m talking the simplest day to day decisions like what to eat for lunch or which book to read at bed. If little decisions turned me into a crumpled mess on the floor then don’t even ask what the major ones were like.
A few years back when I was going through a break up, a friend of mine dropped an incredible gem into my hand which changed my life forever. At the time, I was feeling completely down, stuck, and disempowered. Not knowing what to do about it, he told me of an article he had read on ways to become happier. Most of the points were common knowledge to me, for example, practicing gratitude, giving hugs, having a morning routine etc. The one that surprised me however, was – make a decision.
Something we always have in life is choice. We are always able to make a choice, to make a decision. Even if it is only the choice to decide how you respond to events, it is your choice, your decision. Making a decision, no matter how small is empowering. If you are feeling lost, confused, or paralysed about what is next for you, make a decision. If you are at a cross roads and aren’t sure which way to go, make a decision. Empower yourself right now!
1. Let go of the fear
of failure!
Sometimes what paralyses us when making choices is the fear of failure. The question we tend to ask is “but what if I fail?” Let’s get something straight. Fear will always be there niggling at our side but do not give it the power. The question we really need to be asking is “what if I don’t fail?” Answering this question honestly will override any fear you have about the decision you are going to make. And you will quickly realise if the fear you have is actually about failing or whether it is the fear of success.
2. Ask yourself what
you are willing
to sacrifice.
Is it possible that you are actually fearful of succeeding in your decision? Are you choosing something you know you will fail at so you can just go back to what you were doing before with nothing really changing? What if we succeed? Perhaps that is more scary or painful because we know in order to succeed, something must change and we will have to sacrifice something in order to succeed. So ask yourself “what I am willing to sacrifice in making this decision?”
3. Lead with your heart
Choose what you love and are passionate about. Ultimately when we make the choice to rule with our hearts and passions we gain control and power over our lives = EMPOWERMENT! Yay! Possibilities exist because we are leading with our love and passion. And if you are still unsure then ask “what is the most loving, kind decision?”
4. Check in with your reasons why?
Are you really making a choice or just doing what you are told? For example, we are constantly bombarded in advertising and society with images and messages of what we should want and/or need. You turn on the television and it tells us that we need a husband, kids, house, the latest gadget etc in order to be happy. If this happens to be what you truly want then this is great BUT if you are just unconsciously accepting what you are fed then I challenge you to stop and ask yourself:
- What do I want?
- Why do I want it?
- What do I follow?
- Why do I follow/obey these?
If you know these then it’s easier to make strong choices that are right for you and are aligned with your true values.
5. Take the right and wrong out of the equation.
There is no right or wrong decision. If you asked every person on the planet their opinion, everyone would have their own moral compass of right and wrong. At the end of the day, there are just different decisions. So, if you take right and wrong, good and bad out of the equation it might make your choice easier.
6. Take the gravity out of making your decision.
Sometimes we are scared to make a choice or decision because it seems so final but making a choice or decision doesn’t really make anything final because at the end of the day you don’t know where your decision will lead you. All we have is now, so take the weight out of the decision and choose for this very moment. It is a fact, every choice has consequences. Be aware of the consequences in your decision making then once you have made the choice, let them go!
7. What will the 80 year old version of you remember?
When trying to make a decision, ask yourself ‘what will you remember when you are older?’ That time you followed your heart and went on an adventure OR the time you made yourself small and stayed safe worrying what everyone else would think of you?
8. Check in whether your choice is subconscious, compulsive or habitual.
I recently read the book The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, a fictional book on the spiritual journey of a young man via the guidance of a guru. Through the book the guru talks about choices saying that every choice is both good and bad. There are only problems when choices are subconscious, compulsive, or habitual. If a choice is conscious and you are aware of the positive and negative potential of the choice then any choice can be right.
“Responsibility means recognising both pleasure and price, action and consequence, then making a choice.”
~ THE WAY OF THE PEACEFUL WARRIOR ~
9. Once you have made your decision, commit to it.
Another thing suggested in The Way of the Peaceful Warrior is once you have made a decision, commit to it wholeheartedly. Without committing to a decision you shall be like
“the preacher who thought about praying while making love to his wife, and thought about making love to his wife while praying.”
To commit to a decision means less distractions and less confusion in moving forward.
10. The Grass is never greener on the other side.
Mark Manson, author of The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck says,
“When we’re overloaded with opportunities and options, we suffer from what psychologists refer to as the paradox of choice. Basically, the more options we’re given, the less satisfied we become with whatever we choose, because we’re aware of all the other options we’re potentially forfeiting.”
In other words, drop the FOMO (Fear of missing out). There will always be something we miss, something we don’t have, something we won’t experience. All we have is NOW!
The one thing we always have is a choice. Although external sources can influence us, at the end of the day we have the choice in how we respond and feel. As Deepak Chopra says:
“No matter what the situation, remind yourself
‘I have a choice’ ”
~ DEEPAK CHOPRA ~
Happy decision making friends! It’s never really easy to make a decision but when we make heart centred decisions aligned with our values then we have the potential to empower ourselves. Go out and create the life you want, lead with your heart, choose love and watch how your life transforms!
Peace.
Love.
Namaste.
Emma
Looking for more inspiration around making decisions then read our
10 Ways to Set Goals that Stick, are Stress Free, and Keep you Inspired!