10 ways to set goals that stick, are stress free and keep you inspired!
It’s usually not goals that we have difficulty coming up with, goals are pretty simple to create as they are basically just something we want in our lives. The difficulty though comes when we can see the end picture, and it looks good, but we have no idea how to get there. When we have no tools to help guide us goals can cause anxiety and fear and even choke us at times. So here are some tools to help guide you in any goal setting you are currently embarking on.
So before we start, although goals can help motivate us and keep us inspired it is also important to keep these goals flexible. Having strict rules and restrictions on achieving goals can create more stress in our life. You will get there when the time is right. But right now if you believe that you are already perfect, complete and whole, reaching the goal will not be what defines you and/or your success.
1. Check in with your ‘Why?’
– “Why do you want this goal?”
Sometimes if your why is not strong enough or aligned with your values it’s hard for a goal to stick. If asking why, why, why? leads you to feel emotional or excited you’ve probably hit the jackpot and have a true connection with your goal. If your goal is aligned with your values then it’s less likely to be a superficial goal influenced from external sources and will keep you motivated for longer. If you feel your goal does not have a very strong why, how can you make it stronger? One idea is to consider the impact you achieving your goal will have on the world. If your goal is to become calmer, a seemingly simple goal, just think of the positive impact a calmer person within the world will have. Remember, everything has a butterfly effect and your goal matters!
2. Break it down into smaller, digestible pieces.
If you are feeling overwhelmed with how to start, break it down into smaller, digestible pieces. A few years back I was having digestive issues. Unable to solve the issue I decided to turn to a Kinesiologist. Rather than treating my digestive issues directly she asked me about my life. What was my goal or goals in life? I told her I had a goal, many goals in fact but they all seemed bigger than life that they kept overwhelming me and so I did nothing about them. She then gave me her diagnosis and subsequent treatment. I was overwhelmed with so many ideas that it was like trying to eat an entire meal in one mouth full. Her advise was to break down my goal into easily digestible bites. Instead of starting from today, work backwards. What did you the hour before you achieved your goal? One week before? One month? One year? Then once you have an idea of the steps it takes you can just do one task at a time. And the good thing about having one task at a time means you can live moment to moment and avoid getting overwhelmed with the future!
3. Think moment to moment. Savour each task.
“The sage does not attempt anything very big, and thus achieves greatness.”
~Lao Tzu ~
Little grains of rice make a risotto, a salad is not chopped all once but first the carrot, then the lettuce, then the dressing etc. And whilst you take each step, savour each moment for as Ekhart Tolle (Author of The Power of Now) says:
“The only thing that is ultimately real about your journey is the step that you are taking at this moment. That’s all there ever is.”
4. Allow your road to twist and turn.
Once you have your goal and your easy to digest steps to get there, you can see your basic pathway to make your goal a reality. And if there is a road, there is a way. The act of seeing the road makes the goal more achievable. But as with every road, sometimes there are things that are out of our control – roadblocks, detours. But if we change our perspective about these roadblocks and detours and see them as opportunities of growth, we will find an even better path to cruise towards our goal. As the famous poet Rumi says:
“The real truth of existence is sealed, until after many twists and turns of the road.”
5. Be OK with failure.
Just like you cannot know day without night, you cannot know success without failure. But failures are never really failures but stepping stones helping you to grow and to perhaps even make you more hungry for your goal. And if not this goal, perhaps a fall will lead us to an even better goal.
6. Visualise yourself successfully living your goal.
Studies have shown that mentally visualising yourself doing an activity activates the same parts of the brain as those required to physically perform the action already setting your goals into motion. If you want a guided visualisation meditation be sure to check out my guided Goal Visualisation Meditation.
7. Tell someone your goal.
If you tell someone your goal there will be someone to hold you accountable, to keep you working towards your goal and to keep you inspired. Some people even like to get together and do a dream board! Grab yourself a pin board and collects images, quotes, objects that inspire you and bring you closer to your goal and what you want to attract into your life! If you really aren’t comfortable with sharing your goal then keep reminding yourself. Set an alarm in your phone, write a positive mantra in your diary, keep a photo in your wallet, whatever you need to stay connected to your goal.
8. Surround yourself with people who inspire you and keep you uplifted.
It is so important to keep yourself surrounded by people who are positive influences. Be careful that you don’t let someone in your ear who who will tell you it’s not possible or bring your energy down.
As they say, you are who you hang out with. If you feel like you are surrounded by people zapping your energy, find a tribe of like minded people who will instead uplift you – join a running group, book club, acting class, whatever you need!
9. Fake it till you make it!
Sometimes this is a valid and true way! You can procrastinate and wait for the perfect time and the perfect setting or you can acknowledge that there is never really a perfect time and or setting to start. The perfect time is now and even if you have to fake it, eventually you will get there. If your goal is to become more confident, rather than hoping maybe one day you might be, pretend as if you are playing the role of the confident version of yourself. Go to the shops and wear your favourite outfit, be confident, even if you feel like a fraud. There have even been studies on the psychological benefits of fake smiling!
How do you become an expert? By doing it! This includes making mistakes and learning from them. Waiting to be an expert is like waiting until you are perfect – you will never start!
10. Let it go!
If at some point along the pathway we realise that the goal is actually no longer relevant to our lives or no longer aligns with our values, it is OK to let the goal go! This does not make you a failure. As Bruce Lee says:
“A goal is not always meant to be reached, it often serves simply as something to aim at.”
Lao Tzu (an ancient Chinese philosopher who wrote Tao Te Ching) even suggests that we “blow as aimless as the wind.” If you adopt the idea that you have everything you need right here and now and that nothing is lacking then you can also drop any anxiety or fear surrounding achieving your goal. Your goal is simply a sense of direction or purpose but is not something that must be done in order for you to be whole, for you to be good enough. You already are whole. You already are good enough!
At the end of the day, everyone is unique, so find what works for you. There is no finite way of achieving goals, everyone’s paths are windy and diverse but one thing is for sure, there is no time like the present! Give it a go, let it be a messy, unique journey and enjoy the ride for we never really know where the road might lead us…
Peace.
Love.
Namaste.
Emma